Chaotic Beauty

Hello! Hello:)

For today’s dVerse metting at the bar: Give it to Me One More Time (Do It Over Again) Victoria from the good folks over at dVerse, asked us to pick a piece and revise and revamp it. I am re-everything on a short story or poem, I don’t know what it was trying to be, I wrote years ago that I just can’t seem to get right,nor finish. It keeps evolving, devolving, and fading in and out of memory, but recently I’ve been thinking about it. I tried using it for nano short a little while ago. The new version is a couple words over 300. Here’s the original,  my first attempt (long long past) at a long (for me, story………UM YAH IT”S EMBARRASSING!

Original                                      CHAOTIC BEAUTY

She stands inside the screen porch doorway. The sun shines kindly on her back unbiased to the macabre scene out back.
Tiny drops of blood entangled in her blonde ringlets fall upon the cool wood floor. Now a witness to her rebirth.
A tiny morphine smile stretches across her face as she falls to her knees embracing herself with a soiled hug.
Her mind flashes back to him. But in her new found bliss, quickly discards that memory for eternity to the shadows of her mind.

 Tonights Revision (I don’t mind if it’s only ok, It still needs a lot of work! But I am soo much happier, Thanks Victoria for this push!)

She was looking out from inside the screened in porch doorway, watching as her promise faded into another’s dream. She fights to keep her dark eyes from swelling and filling with tears. Laughing, he just turns and starts walking towards the car down the old  dirt driveway .She remembers something and shouts to him… I made your favorite lemonade, you can take it with you. Under her breath she adds, I don’t need it anymore.

He turns around smiling. Aaah sure, he replies, drawing out the sounds of the words, while smiling the kind of smile a guy uses for a girl he could care less about if they live or die.

I’ll bring it to yah, wait a minute. She closes the screen door and heads into the dark interior that swallows her completely.

She’s in the doorway again, but she isn’t interested in the ghosts walking away with her life anymore. She hums low as the strong light of the sun warms kindly, unbiasedly, upon her back. The dark cherry wood flooring cools her feet as she steps in, on to it from the porch. Tiny droplets of blood entangled in her dirty blonde ringlets fall to the red stained shine below, inviting it to settle within the hard worked finish.

Looking down she stands transfixed, watching the droplets splatter, landing in a unorganized rhythm. A tiny morphine smile etches across her face. Suddenly she tosses her head back as she falls to her knees, embracing herself in a soiled hug. An uninvited thought pierces her mind.  A memory, a faded image of his hand holding hers.  There’s nothing. And she lets it go, discarding it within the depths of the dark stillness consuming her senses.

She sits up on her knees and hovers over. She pauses and looks interestingly at the pale skin interrupted by blueish, purple lines and leans closer and kisses his mouth, his cold, dead eyes and whispers.. goodbye my love, goodbye.

Flash Friday Fiction

  This was written for Flash! Friday!

The latest Friday Fiction #38 asked for a 250 word story, based upon the following image:







 Searching for Life

(250 words)

   Sarah’s thoughts were solely occupied within a delicious frenzy of excitement brought on by an invitation. A most spontaneous and wildly unexpected invitation handed to her by her own reserved, simple, loving husband. He asked if it would please her to help plan and accompany him on a journey to various destinations.

It happened as he was making his usual commute home. A secret within him confessed itself so loudly it was impossible to ignore any longer.  He was failing his own existence, living in servitude by the rigors  of  society, lingering at the club, smoking cigars, conversing in stubborn, restrictive, dull talk.  The world was progressing rapidly towards a fantastic future, richly diversifying, discovery and reinventing itself in endless possibilities. And he longed to join in. His only worry was about Sarah understanding.

Sarah’s mind was dizzy and dreaming of the cultural opulence of the East. The rich smells, feasts of color and sweet sounds of incoherent languages she had long been enchanted by from stories she read, kept tucked in her Hope chest.   Her husband must have observed her desire. He was offering to revive her oppressed soul and rescue it from a suffocating, mundane society,  freeing her existence to  finally roam unbridled through the world outside of their dictated life.

They were giddy over the maps, pointing and talking excitably and settling into a unison of fresh, exciting emotions, pouring out in a comfortable manner, happily exposing each others secrets, now understood are one and the same.


Head on over, join in and read  fabulous stories at this fab site!



The latest Friday Fiction #38 asked for a 250 word story, based upon the following image:


King of Pain


As I sat a step beneath him on the stairs of the hallway that led to nothing

tears streaming down my red ravaged face, he lifted my chin to his level.

I could see the emptiness in his face yet it managed to portray  a selfish irritation.

I looked into his eyes, there was no regret,  no concern

he was focused on getting across one point only.

“I want to walk into the room like a king (his pupils dilate) and you a queen (pupils contract back into emptiness). I don’t care about anyone around us, just that they see me that way.”

I looked up towards the dull yellow hall wall near the top of the stairs, the bottom near the molding was smeared with blood.

And with a tone of scolding that was attached to no emotion nor to the reality of the situation  he questioned “Is that going to wash off?”

Without God

I remember waking up to a gorgeous Sunday morning after one hour of sleep in three days. The mornings always come like a partial birth. The mind and body severed from one another with the heavy weight of yesterday’s mistakes still lingering in my veins. I’m acutely aware of the pain my body it endures from being in a state of constant repair and regeneration and just how insane it is for someone to go through this crap over and over day after day, week after week, year after year. And although my mind feels overwhelmed from its constant “on” button it feels refreshed by the brand-newness of the early hour.

It’s a new day another chance to reconcile with my abnormalities within this world, yet my soul aches with the residual consequences of past decisions. And then there is the constant battle with insomnia, a battle I’ve been losing all of my life, a battle that leaves me in more of a walking, sub-deviant, diluted, waking living hell for most of the day until the sun starts to set. And when I recover and begin to feel alive, the quiet of the evening jams my senses reminding me that I have only hours left to enjoy this full on alertness with the rest of civilization before I am alone once more while the rest of the city retires to a perfect state of dreaminess.

It is a vicious cycle that I can not endure without colorful soldiers escorting me through the motions. They are at my command to use waking me into action so that I can be counted as one among the living. And they are at my command to lull me to sleep when the fear of losing my mind becomes to much to bear from watching the hours slide slowly by.

And so now I begin where I left off, beyond the gin-stained smile soaked in from last nights kiss. I will start like this over and over again.

Word Playground

In This Moment- There’s a fire starting in my Heart
Reaching a Fever pitch that’s bringing me out of the Dark-ley’s
Don’t have to ask this Bohemian twice B Foster
put another Dime in the Jukebox Baby
Its Sunset time on the boulevard
Rudolf’s blitzed in the ballroom and Blondie’s ready to roll!
Jermaine says hi,,Germain? Jermaine Jackson?? Jackson! Jackson 5,,Tito!

the Orchids smelling up the after decay
It’s all spider webs and flies When the Lights go out
your White Lies taste great with Peppermint pattie – green tea Mochi
There’s fire burning on the seven seas
Children are dying just to feed mans Greed
Disgusting? did YOU feed the Corporation today?
everyone’s trying to parlay their “magical” paper into
a dream, a pain- beautiful like a pink unicorn dripp drying red

I Live on the Right Side and Sleep on the Left but I can’t Sleep with Eyes Wide Shut
there’s too much Perfume FlyLeaf-ing around
Brom is Holden my Heart Thirty Nine Steps from Brutus Arizona
It’s a Catch 22 on Blue October Halloween night
movies, are now endorsing machines, Crap Crap materialistic Crap
to keep you Under the Influence- Are You buying into?

I had a fever of 451
paging Dr. Blair, Dr. Blair- I can’t remember anything
give em more xx777xxx777xxx
warning Warning WARNING
The Sky is Falling -The Sky is Falling!
but its Friday, I’m in Love!
MY Eye’s Set to Kill.

I saw Gilda and The Prince kissing the Winter Queen under The Fountainhead
while The Idiot stood Silently watching that silly Rabbit chasing time
Ohh the Places You’ll go
Passenger? No, never! I fly by my own wings in a
67, 69, charger, challenger, chevelle or camaro

trees trees, skeleton like fingers reaching loudly whispering to me

Fat Face races with the Hollywood Undead at Signal Hill
Repo Man there has an insatiable curiosity Jim
And he’s always waiting for Titus to come out of his Burroughs to take The Fall

Carlin is Never More never more
But True Romance still blooms for Mary all bloody and ready to settle the score

the air is fresh Within Temptation
so Come out of Your Cave
Come out and Play
Then you really might no What it’s like to Sing the Blues

We’ll head south just take my hand
this Heart is alive and flaming, boiling over red
Farewell to the Playground

But you I’m out and I’m gone I’ll tell you now I keep it on and on”

(Thank you Daily Post for your Embrace the White post)

The Reluctant Star (a childrens story of encouragement for everyone everywhere to enjoy)


It was time
time to sparkle time to shine
time to let go from all she knew

she wanted to run and hide away
she wanted to stay a child and continue to play
no one was going to make her stand out there all alone
not momma not pappa not anyone in her home

she thought herself unimportant and weak
she was too young and inexperienced
“this job is too big, it can’t be me the Star council seeks”

but most of all she felt that she wasn’t going to be a part of anything
“what difference will I make?”
she’d stutter, stammer and shake

then the sky began to fill with hues of blues and pink
twilight was here and time would not wait
she had to take on her knew role and could linger no longer
little did she know how this would make her stronger

the sun waved goodbye as the moon began to show his face
and this is where she found her place
twilight was hers half in day half in night
and in this new light she began to grow and grow quite bright

and suddenly she heard
very low at first and then much louder
one, two, three, four
until there were thousands and thousands more
and she understood what she was meant to be
her purpose was clear for everyone to see
she was hardly out there all alone
she had a new family to call her own

and as she embraced the sounds from the world below
she listened with happiness to the words whispered aloud each night
“first star I see tonight, I wish I may
I wish I might….”

valentines day for a six year old

I’ve always loved the month of february. as a little girl I’d cut out pink, red and white hearts, circles and other mixtures of shapes to hang like garland and sting off of lamps and hallway doors. I’d make clothes pin dolls and big heart shaped paper houses and mix up some cherry kool aid for my stuffed animals, cars and transformers. I love decorating the month of february but valentines day is another matter. before the days when teachers wised up to the fact that giving a choice to elementary kids for picking out their own valentine wasn’t such a great idea, it was a very stressful and anxious time for six-year olds to handle. would the kid who played with me, who was my science partner by choice, who’d always pick me for co-captain on the dodge ball team make me their valentine? when the valentines got passed out I’d hold my breath hoping to not be embarrassed by my own expectations. I wouldn’t look at them until I got home, smiling all the way home to cover any insecurities I had about being left out of the “boyfriend-girlfriend” social circles. my friends would call “I got a valentine, and some chocolates from so and so.” of course it would be from the person I thought liked me. turns out I was the decoy for their hidden “romance” and the valentines I got although were nice and thoughtful were from the five friends I had and a couple from “I don’t like you but my momma made me give one to everyone in the class.”-classmates, it was still a devastating day.
the next day I’d act like valentines day never existed and “the one” for me did the same as we continued to play the best buddy roles.I could breath again without having to be labeled in a “relationship” while the whole first grade watched our every move. So at least I had another 364 days before I knew if that valentine I secretly like was true.
Happy Valentines day:)