valentines day for a six year old

I’ve always loved the month of february. as a little girl I’d cut out pink, red and white hearts, circles and other mixtures of shapes to hang like garland and sting off of lamps and hallway doors. I’d make clothes pin dolls and big heart shaped paper houses and mix up some cherry kool aid for my stuffed animals, cars and transformers. I love decorating the month of february but valentines day is another matter. before the days when teachers wised up to the fact that giving a choice to elementary kids for picking out their own valentine wasn’t such a great idea, it was a very stressful and anxious time for six-year olds to handle. would the kid who played with me, who was my science partner by choice, who’d always pick me for co-captain on the dodge ball team make me their valentine? when the valentines got passed out I’d hold my breath hoping to not be embarrassed by my own expectations. I wouldn’t look at them until I got home, smiling all the way home to cover any insecurities I had about being left out of the “boyfriend-girlfriend” social circles. my friends would call “I got a valentine, and some chocolates from so and so.” of course it would be from the person I thought liked me. turns out I was the decoy for their hidden “romance” and the valentines I got although were nice and thoughtful were from the five friends I had and a couple from “I don’t like you but my momma made me give one to everyone in the class.”-classmates, it was still a devastating day.
the next day I’d act like valentines day never existed and “the one” for me did the same as we continued to play the best buddy roles.I could breath again without having to be labeled in a “relationship” while the whole first grade watched our every move. So at least I had another 364 days before I knew if that valentine I secretly like was true.
Happy Valentines day:)

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