You know pain and anger are such powerful emotions. Not the “I got to get me some of that” kind either. Although love, gratitude and grace are much stronger, when they are out of balance and darkness shadows your heart we miss out on the amazing beauty God has placed in extraordinary abundance that can be found in even the most unlikable of places.
I recently took a walk down a road that I had avoided for the longest time. You see I hated where I lived. I hated every single thing about it and in truth the place has so very little to offer. I was also very sad and it consumed me. It took a long time to work through that and then what was left was anger and dread. Now I don’t know if deep sadness works on people the same, or why one person gets over the same kind of tragedy in a month while others take years. I just know no matter how much you try to turn it off it doesn’t work like a switch. I believe your environment has so much to do with the healing process and going from one extreme environment to an even worse one is no way to heal anytime soon.
Here is what happened when all of the negative went away and left my heart and mind open for the light to reclaim it the road became beautiful. I could see the different wild flowers and herbs along the sides of the road.I could see a distinction of trees where before I saw only millions of short pines. I saw a brilliant blue sky filled with the fluffy shapes of clouds. I heard birds, ducks and beetles. Everything became amplified in color where as before there was a filmy blur of muck over ever thing-no lie.
Each time I walk down the road I am amazed all over by the little things I see along the way. Anger and hurt are truly destructive emotions. I can not say to you “get over it now.” I fought it everyday for a very long time and lost. But I will say do what you can to squash it fast. Church, the Bible, People, hobbies, movies, introducing anything new into your life will help to push the negative out. I do not recommend going it alone.
When I was Reborn I got two kinds of sight back, both allow me to see the world in an awesome way. It amazes me that that road I so long avoided, I now go down saying “I didn’t see that before..and..I can’t believe It took so long to see the beauty.” I just can’t get over walking around a place that looked so dreadful before is now filled with beauty. Once you know how to arm yourself against the darkness you see just how easy it always was to defeat it and boy, I will never let it consume me like that ever again. Looking back although it was true horror I don’t doubt people would have responded the exact same way I did, I can see just how trivial that whole world was.
With God and through God life is more amazing and yourself is more powerful than any other time you were just going it on your own. It is in fact a whole nother world with God at the helm!