Journey back to Spirit

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Like a lot of you out there I grew up with a conflicted heart, who I was and who every one else thought I should be. I’ve wasted many years crying as I’d go over in my head the last days, months and years events that brought me such misery. I prayed to God to please show me what was wrong with me and why I was so weird and not like everyone else. The people who were in my environment and who where within the environments I created did such an outrageous job at convincing me that it was I who was the defected one and that it was I who needed help. I was always wrong always the cause of some problem, even if I was never even involved. The only reason I could think of as to why I was surrounded by such animosity was because I was strong.  I excelled in art, sports, have a curious, logical mind that needs to solve, build and learn everything. I wasn’t mean, whiny or rude. I didn’t do anything so horrible that could cause so much punishment. But I had a strong sense of individuality and opinion. I saw the world differently, I saw the positives and the beauty and these traits no matter how much humans say those are good characteristics to have, they make people mad. I still don’t understand it.  Anyway this is about how we can get so sidetracked from our destiny while still believing in the God we were taught about from within our environment and how a persons happiness absolutely depends on your environment but ultimately depends on just how free you believe you are.

What am I writing about? Well how if you are dealing with people and situations that are causing unhappiness and stress or confusement I might be able to shed some light on the situation. I’ve gone through so much hell and was constantly looking for answers everywhere but the place that held them -within my immediate and extensive family who I now apply the definition as an “intact dysfunctional unit” totally hidden from public view. I want to help people avoid hurt and who are settling for less because of their environment they believe is normal and because the world, with their own blinders on may say so. But most of all I want to share how I realized what damage people can cause when they are teaching  about God and the Bible  with total blinders on living by only what suits their needs. And what an enormous amount of power and freedom comes with knowing the truth.

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